In detail

In search of patience and tolerance

In search of patience and tolerance

“Something so easy to lose and so hard to find”

This is a writing with the desire to open in you a small useful space for reflection.

Patience tells us the dictionary that "it is the virtue of suffering resigned evils and adversities." As a second meaning, our good friend tells us that it is "a virtue opposed to anger." However, the third meaning is what interests us: "tranquility and tranquility in the wait for things".

Learning to be patient is to have certain skills that allow us to observe situations, avoiding losing control of the situation and emotions. Patience is an attitude of attention and endurance to one thing that interests us a lot and that our lack of control can damage it. Patience is the art of concentrating on enduring certain situations..

Tips to improve our patience

Make a pause

Go to another environment, take a deep breath, take some time and decide what to do. After the break, the situation is resumed, with a clear mind and a reasoned solution.

Moderate our expectations

If the situation to which you are showing patience, is given in high expectations (that your child solves the arithmetic problem, that your partner already fulfills his promise, that or what he is doing will come out perfect). Try to reduce your expectations, because you will not achieve in that moment what you propose and they will only cause you more frustrations and loss of control.

Communicate the reason for your impatience to the person who is causing it and ask them to help you control it.

Doing this makes him share part of the frustrating burden and helps control the loss of your self control.

Adapt to the rhythm of people who make us impatient

It is easier to adapt to others, than others adapt to one.

Patience, in a way, is self-control. And this extended self-control would be tolerance. As you can see, one concept leads us to another, but now I think that by analyzing tolerance we will find what we are looking for.

To tolerate means to respect, consider, subject the opinions, behaviors of others to ours it is worth saying that our reaction to any act or opinion must be delayed, delayed because it is being analyzed coldly and rationally, because the immediate reaction is always emotional, passionate clouds over reason and makes us commit innumerable mistakes. Having a tolerant attitude, then, puts us above the occasional interlocutor because we fall into the game of "tell me and the leader" and our deferred response is always objective, rational and oriented to our objectives. If we do not set any goal in our relationships with others, they have no future to develop.

It is clear that if a person does not interest us at all we can say or do what we please because there is no interest in creating or maintaining permanent ties. Now, taking this attitude of deferred distance, rational analysis and self-control, etc., is easier for some people and more difficult for others.

Some tips to learn to be tolerant

1. Many immediate emotional reactions must be under control. You must necessarily visualize the objective of your relationship with the person to defer or lessen your reaction. In the case of your family, partner etc. I think that the answer must be highly deferred, analyzed, rationalized and then issued because what you want from them is:

  • Maintain, for life, an excellent relationship
  • Help them build a mature personality.
  • Avoid installing a feeling of distrust in it.

2. Everyday life with the rush of comings and goings of endless activities, makes us lose sight of the important, the urgent and the necessary. Many times it is urgent for us, to get out of problems anyway, to feel good and thus our intolerance will lead us to achieve adverse results. In short, do not miss the important thing by thinking about the urgent, the necessary or the immediate.

3. Finally being patient leads us to be tolerant, but tolerance also leads us to act without contradictions between thoughts, words and actions.

Aiming to do your best, builds trust and inspires faith in others.

Not betraying the trust of others and oneself leads us to a life of integrity because our interior and exterior are like the image of a mirror.

It may interest you: Phrases about patience

Luis Echegaray
Psychologist