There are few things that change the relationship more than having a child. Before embarking on the adventure of motherhood / fatherhood, couples are only couples, once a child is born, another function appears to be parents. This new role in many occasions ends up relegating the couple's relationship to a very second level since we focus our energy on the new being that has reached our lives.
Although it is something that happens both in men and women, it is they who usually live with more intensity this experience due to the physical, hormonal and psychological changes that cause pregnancy and childbirth, in addition to the possible sequels that they can leave in the body of the woman, although they are temporary. It takes time for the body and mind to recover. In addition, many women will focus on the role of mothers, forgetting their eroticism. The woman's body has been modified which often makes it look bit erotic. On the other hand, many men go with fear to propose sexual relations to their partner for fear that the woman is still in pain.
- 1 Sex after childbirth
- 2 What to do to recover sex life
- 3 Seeking external support
Sex after childbirth
There are a number of physical and psychological variables that must be taken into account when resuming sexual life. For example, In the first few weeks, women who have given birth are discouraged from penetrating sex to avoid possible infections after childbirth and for the body to recover after the baby is born. The number of weeks varies from one woman to another. Another fairly frequent problem in recent mothers is the dryness, because vaginal epithelium is resentful. And finally, vaginal muscles tend to be distended which reduces sexual pleasure in intercourse. In this case, if the vagina has been distended, it is highly recommended to practice Kegel exercises, in addition to hypopressive exercises that will also help prevent urine loss, for vaginal dryness a little lubricant will be enough.
In addition to the necessary physical recovery, other problems arise after delivery; tiredness, less intimacy, concern for the baby, all this leaves very little room to enjoy a quiet and satisfying sexuality. If to all this we add that there is a hormone called prolactin, which is the one that favors breastfeeding and at the same time reduces the decrease in estrogen, that those responsible for desire, it seems that everything is against to return to enjoy a satisfactory sexuality.
What to do to recover sex life
At this time it is advisable to try other forms of sexual intercourse beyond intercourse, it is an ideal time for massages and caresses. The important thing is that sexual laziness is not established and becomes a chronic problem. It is important that the couple make the woman feel desirable since she may not consider herself physically attractive. It is not easy to return to passion after being parents but it is not impossible, thousands of couples get it daily. It is these moments that is important to relax and let go, and enjoy all the moments of intimacy that we can have with our partner, which at the beginning may not be too abundant. Quiet sex will be appreciated.
Anyway, if you want to practice intercourse, the postures in which the woman can control the degree and intensity of penetration are recommended, so that she can stop if she has discomfort. The most appropriate are the ones she is on. In case of caesarean section, the positions in which the man is above the woman should be avoided.
It is very important to keep in mind that the main sexual organ is the brain, with what is essential to give you time and be patient and calm for yourself. Being able to spend time alone, to enjoy your company, to be able to hug you, without any need to seek intercourse is essential to return to recover the spark of the relationship.
Women who breastfeed their children often feel the most sensitive breasts, something that can be annoying during sexual intercourse, there may even be milk leakage, which can sometimes bother the couple. It is essential to speak it and if it is something that is uncomfortable, look for other erogenous zones.
Looking for external support
Being parents is a full time job, but that does not mean that we should occupy all the hours of the day and that we should give up having our plot of intimacy and rest with our partner. It is important that we delegate moments of caring for our children to other people, grandparents, uncles, kangaroos, children also benefit as they find their parents more relaxed and in a better mood. This is especially recommended in the case of the mother, as many focus so much on caring for the baby that they forget their partners, although they are an essential support in this new stage.
All this can make it very difficult to return to sexuality after childbirth, but with patience, desire and if necessary, a good lubricant, sex can be satisfactory again.
Above all, in these decisive moments it is essential that communication in the couple is not lost and that there is mutual support at this important stage of their lives, since both of them can enjoy the experience of being parents.